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God Hates Divorce

Divorce seems to be one of those subjects that is not only ignored and abused by those who aren’t Christians, but by the Church of Jesus Christ as well. And that’s sad because it’s a serious law that is part of the Ten Commandments of God (the seventh to be exact). Are you surprised? Well, you shouldn’t be if you're a serious student of the bible. For God said: “You shall not commit adultery” in Exodus 20:14 Sept. Well you might say, how is divorce related to committing adultery? To answer that, we must let Jesus Himself do that for us, for He said: "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." (Matthew 19:9 NKJV) Wow, did we just grasp what was said here? First of all, if a man gets rid of his wife to replace her for another (for reasons other than an act of sexual sin), then he is committing adultery. Secondly, if any woman who is divorced from her husband marries another man, then she is committing adultery as well as the one who is marrying her. This is true even if she was not at fault for the divorce in the first place. And let’s remember how serious this commandment is, for the scripture says that those who practice adultery will not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. You see, God is trying to make a very important point here and that is "God Hates Divorce."

Biblical View of Divorce

Now let’s consider why God hates divorce. First, we see in the book of Malachi 2:16, that God said you have dealt treacherously with your wife who is your companion by divorcing her. This companionship was instituted back in the Garden of Eden at the very beginning of God's creation. For God said: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh.” Now the two were naked, both Adam and his wife, and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:24-25 Sept.) Also, we have Jesus who picks up on this truth and says: "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' "and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." (Matthew 19:4-6 NKJV) And why are we not to separate? Because we all know that divorce causes much heartache and disruption to the family unit. This is the tactic of the Devil, for he knows that by dividing us up, there will be contentions, and fighting, as well as all the issues to contend with that come with divorce. For this is all to deprive us of the pleasures and the joys that comes by the family unit and to keep us from teaching Godly values to our children as well as to one another.

But yet again, we see “Christian” men and women going against the commandment of Jesus. And why? Is it because we don’t take His words seriously? For we can go around trying one way or another to find some loop-hole or a justifiable way to end our marriage. However, I’m convinced that no teacher, preacher or angel from heaven can condone or change this statement that Jesus made against divorce, whether a couple got married before or after they became Christians. Anything that’s contrary to what Jesus said would only be by scripture twisting at its worst. And let’s consider Paul’s own words which he had written to the church: "But even if we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel to you than what we have preached to you, let him be accursed. (Galatians 1:8 NKJV)

 

Trust in God with all your heart, and do not exalt your own wisdom. In all your ways know wisdom, that she may cut a straight path for you; and your foot will not stumble. (Proverbs 3:5-6 Sept.)
 
Now having said all that, I do know for those of you who are the guilty party and are responsible for this mess, if you would turn and repent, God will forgive you. And, if it's not to late to redeem your marriage, redeem it for your sake and for the one whom you are bringing so much heartache on. So, all you men who are dumping your wife for another (or already have), please stop and consider the heart that you're breaking, and instead reaffirm your love to her again. And for all you women who have betrayed your man, stop what you're doing and free yourself from the arms you don't belong to and be reconciled back to your husband. For why go against God's word and bring so much sin upon your lives. Because believe me, God will never let you find any happiness or peace in the arms of someone else.

 

Now for those of you who have already gone through the divorce and are remarried, there is something that you need to do in order to be right with God. If you're a woman, you need to leave the man you have wrongfully married (for he is not your husband) and remain unmarried the rest of your life. Yes, this is so true, even if you're not the one who initiated the divorce in the first place, for God still holds you guilty of adultery even in this situation. And if you're the man who wrongfully divorced his wife, you need to receive her back to yourself even if you're already married to another woman. Yes, it's true. You have to deal with two wives now whether you like it or not. (For God's word never condemn a man for having more than one wife, he only condemns a man for dumping the one for another. This is a misconception by the church and our society which condemn a man for having more than one wife). So, ladies, if your husband divorces you for any reason (whether you’re in the wrong or not), please for your sake and his, (but most of all for God's Glory) don't make the mistake of marring another man while your husband is still alive. Instead, plead with God that you both will be reunited once again, regardless of who was in the wrong. And for you men who have been betrayed or are the betrayer, do the same by praying and pleading with God for her to ether see the evil that she is doing and repent, or to forgive you of your wrong and the heartache that you brought upon her by divorcing her.
 

When Divorce is a Sin

Now I know this may not be popular with you ladies, but there is no scripture in God's word that ever allows a woman to divorce her husband, not even if she finds out he has another woman on the side. We can see this to be true in the Old Testament where men at times had more than one wife (which God did not condemn as mentioned before) and yet there were no laws allowing a woman to divorce her husband for this. We can also see from Jesus statement that He is referring only to the woman being divorced for fornication, and never the man. This is also true because God has made the man to be head over the woman in everything, including the marriage itself. However, the bible does say that a woman who departs from her husband must remain unmarried or be reconciled back to her husband (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). This may be true if there is an abusive situation going on where the women has to flee for her safety as well as for her children's. However, she is to be always ready and willing to come back to him for the cause of reconciliation, whether he was in the wrong or if she was. Now, here is a word of warning for you ladies and men. In Deuteronomy 24:1-4, we read that if a woman is divorced from her husband and remarries someone else, she can never go back to her first husband, even if her new husband dies. For we see God calling this an abomination. For this is an insult to the institution of marriage by making it look wishy-washy. And let me just say, beware of any pastor or teacher who says anything contrary to these truths. For they would just be adding lies to God's word, not walking after the leading of the Holy Spirit. And don't just take my word for it, but search God's word for yourselves and pray that the Holy Spirit would open your eyes to his truth.

I know sometimes the wrong choices we (or even others) make can affect our whole lives. And such it is with divorce as well because it can have a negative effect on everyone’s lives involved. God made divorce hard so that we would think twice before going down that road. So, let's not make the mistake of thinking that God is going to compromise His standard just because we are inconvenienced during our stay here on earth. Yes, it is true that He loves us so much, but He must be true to who He is as well as to His word. And I know that it may seem unfair (especially to you ladies), but God has His reasons for everything He ordains. So instead of having our little pity-party and saying "Lord why me," we should be down on our knees praying and pleading that His will be done. For it’s His laws that have been broken and not ours. But in all, remember that God is hoping for repentance and a change of heart for all couples. He desires reconciliation for all marriages instead of a life of separation.

In closing, I would like to say for those who have been caught in the middle of all this and who are the innocent party, God is going to see you through it if you’ll just submit everything to him. He promised never to leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 15:5). And as hard as divorce may be, God's Holy Spirit will fill your life with peace and joy if you will just keep your mind stayed on him, for believe me, I've been there. Yes, you may have to make some changes in your life, but it will be all for your good. For God's word says: And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28) And just remember that this life is just a vapor compared to eternity in paradise with our Creator God. Jesus did say: "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." (John 16:33 NKJV) God bless you as you always seek to do His will, and His will only. Amen

Scripture Reference and Notes:

  • "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." (Matthew 19:9 NKJV)
  • So He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. "And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery." (Mark 10:11-12 NKJV)
  • And you do these things which I hate. You cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and moaning because of troubles, yet still thinking it is worthy to look upon your sacrifice or take it as acceptable from your hands. And you say, “Why?” Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, whom you have forsaken; yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant. But did He not make another, having a remnant of His Spirit? Yet you ask, “What else does God seek but offspring?” But take heed to your spirit, and do not forsake the wife of your youth. “But if you hate her and send her away,” says the Lord God of Israel, “ungodliness will obscure your thinking,” says the Lord Almighty. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not forsake her. (Malachi 2:13-16 Sept.)
  • And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' "and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? ... "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." (Matthew 19:4-5, 9 NKJV)
  • For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to [her] husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of [her] husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man. (Romans 7:2-3 NKJV)
  • Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. (1 Corinthians 6:9-10 NKJV)
  • "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." (Matthew 19:6 NKJV)
  • “If a man takes a wife and marries her, and it should be she finds no favor before him, because he found something shameful in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hands, and sends her out of his house, and she departs from his house and marries a different man, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce, and puts it in her hands, and sends her out of his house, or the latter man dies who took her as his wife, then her former husband who divorced her cannot take her back to be his wife after she was defiled; because that is an abomination before the Lord your God; and you shall not defile the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.” (Deuteronomy 24:1-4 Sept.)

So He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. "And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery." (Mark 10:11-12 NKJV)