Richly enjoying what God has given us.
God created sexual intimacy and wants us not only to express our love to one another through it, but to richly enjoy it as well (1 Timothy 6:17). For it’s the sex act between a man and a woman which can bring about the most intense physical pleasure that two people can ever experience. For it’s one of those pleasures of life that even brings forth new life (yes, I mean babies). So, this being the case, doesn't it make sense that God would want us to richly enjoy it? For God’s word says: “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled” which means marriage is good for everyone and that sexual intimacy is not to be viewed as dirty, defiling or unholy (Hebrews 13:4). And let us remember we ourselves are here because our parents had a sexual encounter as well. And let’s thank God they did.
Now that being said, we must keep in mind that people are not always on the same level of faith when it comes to sexual intimacy. For some may limit themselves to some simple basics, while others may lean toward an “anything goes” mentality. So that being said, we need to be careful not to put a stumbling block nor a guilt trip on a fellow Christian. What I mean is this; those who limit themselves to the simple basics, should not condemn those who do otherwise. And in the same way, those who indulge in it should not look down on those who don’t. For we need to take heed to what God’s word says and leave all judgment up to God. For it's before Him that we stand or fall; and according to His word, He will make us stand (Romans 14) So, wherever your faith may allow you to go in your sexual intimacy, you should richly enjoy it and give thanks to God for it.
Me, Me, Me (that shouldn't be)
However, we still need to use caution when it comes to this area of physical intimacy. For it can be so easy to take things out of perspective and focus only on ourselves instead of our mate. For we must not overlook the fact that sexual intimacy is to be an act of giving as well as receiving. For we are to focus on bringing pleasure to our spouse who in turn should want to bring pleasure to us. It can truly be a beautiful act when the couple has this attitude of giving to one another. And again, let's not forget that the sexual act between a man and his wife was designed by God to bring children into this world. So, to take sex out of it’s intended environment could lead you to a feeling of incompleteness, an emptiness, or even frustration. That’s why we need the Holy Spirit daily to help us put all these things into their proper perspective. His Word tells us to walk after the Spirit so that we can put off the deeds of the flesh. For if you live for pleasure you will die, but if you live for God, he will give you all things to enjoy in their proper time and place (1 Timothy 5:6). Therefore, let us always read and meditate on his Word and be doers of it. Amen.
What about Us
Of course there are those who struggle with the fact that they, for some reason or another, can’t have children. However, that didn’t stop Abraham and Sarah or even Zachariah and Elizabeth from continuing having sex, even in their old age. And we know the end result was a blessing for them. So, even in your physical infirmities, don't stop enjoy sex in the best way you can with your spouse, trusting and hoping in God that He will make a way for you. And lets remember that there are children out there that need a loving home to take them in. And yes, I'm referring to adoption.
God's Word concerning the Human Body and Physical Intimacy?
There is a book in the bible called Song of Songs, which has a beautiful love story between a man and his wife. I encourage all couples to read through its pages and glean from it, asking God's Holy Spirit to bring out its rich meanings. And be careful of those who may take it out of contexts and making it something it's not. Always interpret scripture with scripture as those did from Berea, who searched out the scriptures to make sure what they were being told was true. God help us to do the same.
Giving Heed to God's Word
Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron, forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. (1 Timothy 4:1-3)
The Puritan's View of Sex in Marriage
Nathan W. Bingham • Feb 14, 2014
There are many caricatures and misinformation when it comes to how Christians through the ages have viewed sex in marriage. In Dr. Joel R. Beekeʼs Living for Godʼs Glory: An Introduction to Calvinism, he dedicates a chapter to marriage, in which he discusses the Puritanʼs view.
Marital love must be sexual, so that both marital partners can give themselves fully to each other with joy and exuberance in a healthy relationship marked by fidelity. Reformers such as Martin Luther, Ulrich Zwingli, and John Calvin established this aspect of marriage by abandoning the medieval Roman Catholic attitudes that marriage was inferior to celibacy, that all sexual contact between marital partners was a necessary evil to propagate the human race, and that a procreative act that involved passion was inherently sinful. This negative view was rooted in the ancient church and based on the writings of such notables as Tertullian, Ambrose, and Jerome, all of whom believed that, even within marriage, intercourse necessarily involved sin. This attitude toward marital intimacy, which dominated the church for more than ten centuries, inevitably led to the glorification of virginity and celibacy. By the fifth century, clerics were prohibited from marrying. Two classes of Christians emerged: the “religious” (i.e., the spiritual clergy), which included monks and nuns who vowed to abstain from all sexual activity, and the “profane” (i.e., the secular laity), who, being unable to rise to the noble heights of virginity or celibacy, were conceded the right to marry.
Puritan preachers taught that the Roman Catholic view was unbiblical, even satanic. They cited Paul, who said that the prohibition of marriage is a doctrine of devils (1 Tim. 4W1–3). Even the Puritan definitions of marriage implied the conjugal act. For example, Perkins defines marriage as “the lawful conjunction of the two married persons; that is, of one man and one woman into one flesh.” In contrast with Desiderius Erasmus, who taught that ideal marriage abstained from sexual intercourse, Cotton said in a wedding sermon that those who call for marital abstinence follow the dictates of a blind mind and not those of the Holy Spirit, who says that it is not good that man should be alone. The Puritans viewed sex within marriage as a gift of God and as an essential, enjoyable part of marriage. Gouge says that husbands and wives should cohabit “with good will and delight, willingly, readily, and cheerfully.” “They do err,” adds Perkins, “who hold that the secret coming together of man and wife cannot be without sin unless it be done for the procreation of children.”
Perkins goes on to say that marital sex is a “due debt” or “due benevolence” (1 Cor. 7W3) that a couple owes to one another. That must be shown, he says, “with a singular and entire affection one towards another” in three ways: “First, by the right and lawful use of their bodies or of the marriage bed.” Such physical intimacy by “holy usage” should be “a holy and undefiled action (Heb. 13W4)... sanctified by the word and prayer (1 Tim. 4W3–4).” The fruits of God-honoring, enjoyable sex in marriage are the blessing of children, “the preservation of the body in cleanness,” and the reflection of marriage as a type of the Christ-church relationship. Second, married couples must “cherish one another” intimately (Eph. 5W29) rather than having sex in an impersonal way as an adulterer with a prostitute. Third, a couple should be intimate “by an holy kind of rejoicing and solacing themselves each with the other in a mutual declaration of the signs and tokens of love and kindness (Prov. 5W18–19; Songs 1W1; Gen. 26W8; Isa. 62W7).” In this context, Perkins particularly mentions kissing.
Other Puritans stressed the romantic side of marriage as they compared the love of a husband to Godʼs love for His own. Thomas Hooker writes, “The man whose heart is endeared to the woman he loves, he dreams of her in the night, hath her in his eye and apprehension when he awakes, museth on her as he sits at table, walks with her when he travels and parlies with her in each place where he comes.” He adds: “She lies in his Bosom, and his heart trusts in her, which forceth all to confess, that the stream of his affection, like a mighty current, runs with full tide and strength.” The emphasis on romance within marriage (rather than in extramarital relations, as was common in the Middle Ages) has often been attributed to the Puritans. Herbert W. Richardson writes that “the rise of romantic marriage and its validation by the Puritans represents a major innovation within the Christian tradition.” And C. S. Lewis says, “The conversion of courtly love into romantic monogamous love was largely the work of... Puritan poets.”
The Puritans took the matrimonial duty of sex so seriously that failure to extend “due benevolence” by either partner could be grounds for church discipline. There is at least one case on record in which a husband was excommunicated for “neglecting his wife” by not having intercourse with her for a long period of time.
According to God’s word, we are to be (1)teaching children God's truth and educating our children to be fruitful and productive individuals. Young boys at a very early age should be nurtured and guided for a future career that will help them be able to support a family as well as be beneficial to society. Likewise, young girls should be taught what it takes to be a good wife and how to raise a family. But most of all, we should be teaching them about our Awesome God and Creator, showing them at a very early age what Christianity is all about. Women should be even singing and reading the bible out loud to them while they are still in the womb. For this is pleasing to the Lord.
But, what are we really doing? Well, there’s mindless video games, nonsense cartoons and kid shows, as well as the over indulgence of sports which we have allowed to plagued our youth. Also, young women have been duped in believing that they must pursue a career outside the home. Likewise, Young men are pushed out of their homes into collages with the false idea that they must have a degree to exceed in this life. And unfortunately, our system of thinking believes this and has given into it.
Now let’s not forget discipline (spanking your children). It seems our society today thinks it knows better than God on how to correct our children. For His word tells us not to spare the (2)rod of correction, for in applying it you’re actually showing more (3)love than you would if you withheld it. But unfortunately, you can get into big (4)trouble if you take a belt to your child these days. Again, this is all about our corrupt way of thinking that we know better than God, but the truth of the matter is, we don’t.
So, in conclusion to all this, let's dare to stand on God's word and not on man's. Let us use God given wisdom and discernment in everything we do. For His Holy Spirit is to be our teacher, whether it be how to raise and discipline our children, or even how to sex educate them. We can always trust in Him for guidance. Amen
Here are some links to other website on the issue of raising children:
Pray that all would agree to it
Articles on this Page
1. Marital Intimacy
2. God's True Marriage
3. Training Up a Child
Pray that All Husbands and Wives would richly enjoy it
Now, a word to the reader:
This article is in no way condoning hatred or acts of harm to the homosexual community. They, just like anyone else need to be loved, prayed for, and treated in such a way as we ourselves would want someone to treat us. We all need God's grace and mercy and if it were not for His mercy towards us, we would all be doomed. But that being said, we should not call something a good and acceptable lifestyle that God Himself calls an abomination. The homosexual act, unless it's repented of, is a sin that can keep a person from entering into a true relationship with God which in turn can keep one from entering heaven. So those of us who are in Christ should speak the truth in love and do our best to love them into His Kingdom, because all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. But we are freely forgiven if we repent. And I hope this article as well as the Scriptures below will do just that and open blind eyes to see.
Man & the Woman = One Flesh
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. Now the two were naked, both Adam and his wife, and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:24-25 Sept.)
If we would take a close look at the passage above, we would see that it says that a man shall cleave unto his wife, not a man to a man or a woman to a woman. God at the very beginning instituted the marriage relationship as it should be. Also, please note what the first chapter of Geneses says concerning man: “Then God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of heaven, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (Genesis 1:28 Sept.) This is a true God ordained marriage.
We can also see a uniqueness of the male and female relationship in that God created woman from the man. So, we can see from the very beginning that the woman and the man were designed specifically for each other, and only through this type of relationship can we have a true oneness and sexual intimacy. Also, we have the words of Jesus Himself when He spoke to the Pharisees telling them that from the beginning “God made them male and female” and that the “two shall be one flesh.” So again, we have Jesus affirming that only through a man and woman union, can we have a true one flesh relationship.
I was Born this Way
Now I know that there are some who may claim that they were born with homosexual tendencies; and to be quite frank about it, this may be true. However, all of us are born into sin, all of us have one vice or another looming over our heads. But being born with a vice doesn't give us a license to keep indulging ourselves in it. Instead, these vises should cause us to cry out to God for deliverance. So, none of us should use this as an excuse to continue in it; but instead, we should be coming to God and ask for His help. For its only God who can truly set us free from our faults.
So my question is, are you willing to give up that which you a bound to? Let’s remember that God’s word says there are some who will not come to the light because they don't want to change. For Jesus said: "And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. "For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. (John 3:19-20) So we can see that there are those who are not willing to give up their sins.
And I know from experience, that I myself at one time did not want to come to God because I wanted to do my own thing. But let us also remember that God is not a kill joy. God ways will always bring more pleasure to our lives than when we are wallowing in our sin. The pleasure that can be receive between a man and a woman is far greater than any other way. Now you may be saying that you already tried that. But have you tried it through a living relationship with God? What I mean is this, with God's Holy Spirit residing in you, all things that seem impossible before, are now possible through Him. So please turn and follow His plan and design for you, because believe me, you will not regret it.
Mercy and Grace
So in closing I would like to say that God is merciful and full of grace. God wants none to parish but for all to come to repentance. So, for those who are caught up in any sin, whether it be homosexuality or some other vice, just simply confess from your heart that you have sinned before God. He will forgive you and wash you clean by the blood of Jesus Christ that was shed for you on the cross. He will give you the strength to overcome anything. And let us remember: "For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.(Romans 8:13-14)
So come to God today seeking Him with your whole heart “All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out” (John 6:37). Amen, God is so Awesome.
Scripture Reference Concerning:
Male and Female
Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness. Let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of heaven, over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that moves on the earth.” So God made man; in the image of God He made him; male and female He made them. Then God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of heaven, and over every living thing that moves on the earth. (Genesis 1:26-28 Sept.)
Thus God brought a trance upon Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and filled up the flesh in its place. Then the Lord God built the rib He took from Adam into a woman, and brought her to him. So Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh.” Now the two were naked, both Adam and his wife, and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:22-25 Sept.)
But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Mark 10:6-9)
If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both committed an abomination. They shall be put to death, for they are guilty. (Leviticus 20:13 Sept.)
For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due. (Romans 1:26-27)
Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
But we know that the law is good if one uses it lawfully, knowing this: that the law is not made for a righteous person, but for [the] lawless and insubordinate, for [the] ungodly and for sinners, for the unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, for fornicators, for sodomites, for kidnappers, for liars, for perjurers, and if there is any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine, (1 Timothy 1:8-10)
But the Scripture has confined all under sin, that the promise by faith in Jesus Christ might be given to those who believe. But before faith came, we were kept under guard by the law, kept for the faith which would afterward be revealed. Therefore the law was our tutor to bring us to Christ, that we might be justified by faith. But after faith has come, we are no longer under a tutor. (Galatians 3:22-25)
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. "For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. (John 3:16-17)
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, (Romans 3:23-24)
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)
Living a Life that Pleases Our God
Glorifying God through Prayer and Worship
Pray that all will teach them in a Godly way
Awake, O north wind, and come, O south wind; Blow through my garden and let my spices flow out. Let my beloved come to his garden and eat of its fruits. (Song of Songs 4:16)