Topics in this Article Are:
1. How to Conduct Ourselves
2. God Hates Divorce
Pray that all would embrace their place
Man and the Woman before the fall
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. (Genesis 1:26-27)
From the creation account above, I do believe that before the fall, there was a natural unity and harmony between the man and the woman, each one knowing his and her place in life instinctively. There in the garden, we can see from scripture that man was a vegetarian and that he had vegetables and fruit trees that were pleasant to the sight as well as good for food. Here, there was harmony between the man and his wife as well as with the animals. But most of all, it was that beautiful relationship that man had with God, being not yet tainted by sin.
Man and Woman after the Fall
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. (Genesis 3:16)
Now for starters I would like to be clear on one thing and that would be this; that the man IS NOT better than or more superior to the woman, nor is she his personal slave. She is his companion and an important part of his life. For God's word says in Genesis that both the man and the woman are made in the image of God, which shows that she is not a lesser being than the man. We are all one in Christ Jesus and just as important to Him. The only difference would be our God given earthly roles that He bestowed upon us. We can see this in nature itself by observing that the males are generally larger and stronger than the females. This would naturally place the males in a place of dominance and rule over the female, but not in any way inferring that one is better than the other.
Now because of the fall of mankind and sin now entering into the world, things started to change for the worse on the earth. Therefor God felt it necessary to make it very clear that the man is to have the rule over the woman and she is to be in subjection unto him. Now let us not believe that before the fall there was no male dominance over the female. For we can mistakenly come to this conclusion by the scripture mentioned above. However, God’s Word clearly states otherwise. For we can read in Paul's first letter to Timothy that it says that the woman is not to “usurp authority over the man” because “Adam was first formed, then Eve.” Also, we have Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians stating that man was not created for the woman, but the woman for the man, thus showing that from the very beginning (before the fall) God had created the man to be head over the woman.
Now, according to the passage above, we read that the woman's desire is going to be for her husband. This is the same wording as it is in chapter 4 of Genesis where we read: "And the LORD said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen? If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him. (Genesis 4:6-7) So we see that this word "desire" speaks of having ones will and way over someone else and not a sexual desire. This is true because God told Adam and Eve to be "fruitful and multiply" before the fall which would come to reason that they had sexual desires for one another. So, this desire here pronounced upon the woman would be part of the curse, which would be to have her will and way over her husbands. However, God says to the woman (and those of today) "he shall rule over you."
We must be diligent to stand on the truth of God’s Word and not try to water it down with our own theology. It seems there’s this urge to try to twist or bend God's Word in such a way that it would be appealing to all. And isn't it true that we do this because we are so afraid of offending someone? And it's no wonder why we have such disorder in the church today as well as in our homes? It’s time we stand up for the truth of God’s Word and take our rightful places in life (both the man and the woman). For by doing anything otherwise, we would be guilty of thwarting a divine commandment.
Reference from commentators:
Giving Honor unto the Wife
And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand. Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. (Malachi 2:13-15)
It is obvious from scripture that the man is to show respect and honor to his wife. Just because the man has a God given authority over his wife does not mean that she is to be looked down upon or to be treated as inferior. Does not scripture say that the man is to love his wife’s as his own body? A wife is a blessing to the husband and an important part of his life. In fact, in Proverbs 31:10-31 it says that a virtuous woman is prized far above rubies and is a blessing to her husband. So, why does one divorce his wife and marry another, treating her like an object that can be traded in for another. She is a person that is precious and just as important in the eyes of God as any man. For we can see from the scripture quoted above in Malachi as well as the one below from (5)Matthew’s gospel, that God hates divorce.
The Man's Place in Life
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. (1 Timothy 5:8)
According to the passage above, a man is to be the provider for his household. He is to work and do all he can to provide food on the table for his family and clothing on their backs. For God’s word condemns laziness and anyone who is a slacker. In fact, according to the bible passage quoted above, God says that such a man is worse than an unbeliever. Now that’s pretty bad. Now let it be said, I don’t believe this is condemning those men who are struggling to make ends meet. For sometimes things happen that can put people into predicaments that are out of their control. But in all things, God will meet their needs and see them through if they trust Him and put their hope in Him. So, let all of us who are men do our best by loving our wife’s according to scripture and help train our children in the way they should go (see Train up a Child). This would include teaching them the truth of God’s word and not to be harsh with them or harass them to anger.
The Woman's Place in Life
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. (Titus 2:3-5)
According the scripture above, women should be passing on to the next generation of women the important role of being keepers of the home. However, we see the opposite happening. For young women are being shipped off to pursue a degree in some collage so that they can have a career outside the home which is not consistent with God’s word. Also, mothers are sending off their young children to strangers in some day care so that they can pursue a career as well instead of staying home and raising them as they should. Is this not wrong? Should they not rather be teaching and instilling Godly values to their own children instead of letting someone else teach them who knows what? Even the Military as well as the police force has open its doors to woman which goes against nature. For woman are to bring life into the world, not to take it out. Unfortunately, this is all part of the fall of mankind where women feel they need to venture in areas outside their home in order to be recognized as being important or even equal to men. But the truth of it all is, a woman's role in the home is just as vital, if not even more important than any job outside of it. For she has the God given role to "train a child in the way they should go" which molds and shapes that child's future. What job can be more important than that?
Now, I don't believe that women only have to stay within the confides to the house. For there are single women as well as wives that can be involved in helping out within their community. There are also those women who are involved in doing crafts and selling them in the market place. Also, there are family own businesses which they could help to run. This also would be a great way for there children to get involved, teaching them from a very early age how to be fruitful and productive in life. But again, these businesses should not get in the way of her most important calling which would be tending to her immediate family. For a mother and wife's first priority is always to be there for her children as well as for her husband. This is not a commandment from me, but from God himself. This is all consistent with God's word as we can see from the book of Proverbs below. Of course, there are also those women who choose to be single or have not married yet. These same women can get involved in their church as a Deacon, or have some job such as working in a nursing home or some other community outreach. However, this all depends on their situation at home. For if they are needed to stay at home by their immediate family, (such as helping to take care of her siblings or any aging parents) she needs to forsake what she is doing and attended to her family first. However, if she gets married, her first priority would be toward her husband and any children that follows.
The Virtuous Woman
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household [are] clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates. (Proverbs 31:10-31)
However, for all you parents who are sending your daughters away from the protection and comfort of the home into college campuses and dorms. You might as well be throwing them into a shark tank and tell them: "sink or swim honey, and oh by the way, remember to watch out for the sharks." Isn't this true? For there are those out there which have other interests in mind for your daughters, and believe me, it's not for their good. For there are night clubs, parties and all sorts of guys they can hang out and get in trouble with. Is that really something you want for your daughters? Don't get caught up in this corrupt system that says you need a degree to make it in this life, because it's a demonic lie. The truth of the matter is, life has gone on just fine without a degree in the past, and this for both men and women. So, my advice to you parents; keep your daughters at home until they’re ready for marriage. They can always help out around the house and find extra work in the local businesses while they’re still single. It's all for their good. Amen
Know having said all this, I realize that our current world system (at least here in America) has made it hard for a couple to make it financially with only one person working outside of the home. Unfortunately, we have brought this upon ourselves because of greed. A get rich and retire early mentality can bring a nation to ruin. Oh, wouldn't be nice, if all woman were as the Provers 31 woman and men as the Ephesians 5 husband.
Leaders in the Church
Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. (1 Timothy 2:11-14)
It is very clear from the scriptures, both in the Old Testament as well as the New, that the leadership positions in the church are to be held only by men and never by a woman. If we look at the Old Testament we can see that all the priestly positions were never held by a woman. Likewise, if we look at the New Testament Church, we can see that all twelve of the apostles were held only by men. Wouldn’t it make sense if Jesus wanted to have women in leadership positions in the New Testament church, he would have at least chose one woman, perhaps maybe Mary Magdalen to be one of His apostles. But it is so clear from Paul’s letters that no woman is to take on any form of leadership within the church assembly, not even among other women. However, the scriptures do teach that women can take part within the church as prophets and as deacons. Now it must be understood that this word deacon does not mean a church leader or teacher but one who serves in the church, whether they are a man or a woman. We can see this to be true from Acts chapter 6 where it talks about Stephen who was appointed as a deacon in the church to serve tables (see: Acts 6:3 and 1 Timothy 3:8-13).
Now I know that some of you may be thinking about Deborah, who was a Judge and a prophet in Israel. While it is true that she was holding these two positions, this still would not qualify her to take on a role as a priest or a religious teacher. Prophets speak as God gives them utterance and Judges administer justice. But that does not give them license to take on roles that’s not given to them. We can see this to be true where a woman was never given the role of a Priest or an apostle, but only men. We must remember that even King Saul, who was an anointed King in Israel, got into trouble for taking on the duties of a Priest.
(Key notes of this article: husbands must love their wives, the husband is the head of the wife, and a man and woman's role in life.)
Pray that Couples WOULD NOT go down that Road
The Pharisees asked Jesus, (1)"Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' "and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." But being not content with that answer, the Pharisees went on to challenge Him saying: (1)"Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" Jesus then makes a statement that I’m sure caught them all off guard saying: (1)"Moses because of the hardness of your hearts allowed you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, commits adultery: and whoever marries her which is put away dose commit adultery.”
Jesus made it very clear that God’s standard for marriage was instituted back in the Garden of Eden when He said (1)“He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,” and (1)“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” But because their hearts were hard (2)“and even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting" which would include the act of one putting away his wife as well. However, Jesus came to set things back to God’s standard by saying: (3)“But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery” This would be through her act of marring someone else. And then Jesus finishes it up by saying: (3)“and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery.” It could not be any clearer than this. The sinning husband, the wife (even if she’s not the guilty party) and the one who marries her, are all guilty of adultery if they fail to take heed to God’s word here.
1(Matthew 19:3-9), 2(Romans 1:28-32), 3(Matthew 5:31-32)
Causing Others to Sin
Now, here are a few other passages that Jesus mentioned concerning divorce that we should look carefully at. For He said, (1)“Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” Did you noticed that He said concerning the man divorcing his wife that he “commits adultery against her” and that the woman only “commits adultery?” So, this “committing adultery against her” on the man’s part means he is violating the marriage covenant by wrongfully getting rid of his wife. For God’s word says: (2)Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously." This also puts the woman in a vulnerable situation that could cause her to fall into the arms of someone else. Jesus further emphasized this by saying in another passage (3)”whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery” because it is assumed that she will remarry. However, Jesus never mentions that the woman’s action of divorcing her husband would put him in a vulnerable state of committing adultery. This is true throughout the bible. Because in all scripture, adultery is always linked to a married woman, but never mentions a unmarried woman with a married man. So that being said…….
1(Mark 10:11-12) 2(Malachi 2:14,16) 3(Matthew 5:32)
The only way a man can commit adultery is by two actions. The first would be having sex with a married woman. But, second would be by getting rid of the wife he has so that he can replace her for another. Again, this is adultery in the form severing the marriage covenant, which is a sin in the eyes of God. So, would it be an act of adultery if the man didn’t divorce his wife, but just added another wife instead? Well, I am in no way going to open the door for men to go out and add another wife to their marriage. For we can read in God’s word that almost every man that had more than one wife was confronted with issues. But did God condemn them for having more than one wife? Well, I don't see it telling us so in His word. However, let’s remember that back in the beginning God only gave one wife to Adam, not multiple wives. And let's remember also what Jesus said, (1)“a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” So, even though we don't see God condemning a man for having more than one wife, going against His ideal for marriage is just inviting trouble. So, that being said, I know that there may be those who are asking, “why did the man get away with it but not the woman?"
Well, what we do know is that if a man has three wives and they all conceive and bear a child. You will always know who’s the dad, and who’s the mom. But the opposite is not true. For if a woman has three husbands and they have all lain with her that month and she conceives and bears a child, who is the dad? Yes, I know that we have tests that can determine this now, but is that going appease the other two jealous husbands? I don’t think so. Someone is going to get hurt, and it could include the mother and the child. Again, I'm not endorsing multiple marriages so please don't go there.
Redeeming Your Marriage
So, for those of you who are the guilty party and are responsible for this mess, if you would turn and repent, God will forgive you. And, if it's not to late to redeem your marriage, redeem it for your sake and for the one whom you are bringing so much heartache on. So, all you men who are dumping your wife for another (or already have), please stop and consider the heart that you're breaking, and instead reaffirm your love to her again. And for all you women who have betrayed your husband but have not yet married another man, stop what you're doing and free yourself from the arms you don't belong to and be reconciled back to your husband. And let's remember what Deuteronomy 24:3-4 says: "And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance." So, according this passage, if a divorced woman remarries, she can't go back to her first husband if things don't work out in the new relationship. For God calls this an abomination.
For those who have Remarried
You must realize ladies that as long as you are in the arms of another man, even though you have married to him, you are committing adultery if your first husband is still alive. This also goes for you men who have married such a divorced woman. For this second marriage does not dissolve the first marriage. For did not Jesus make it clear when He said, (1)“whoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery: and whoever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery?” This couldn’t be any clearer. So, what should you do if your in a marriage relationship that you don't belong in, especially if there is children involve? Well, you need to obey His word and do what He tells you to do. And let’s remember what the children of Israel did when they realized that they disobeyed God and took foreign wives who even bore children to them. For they said: (2)And Shechaniah the son of Jehiel, one of the sons of Elam, answered and said unto Ezra, We have trespassed against our God, and have taken strange wives of the people of the land: yet now there is hope in Israel concerning this thing. Now therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put away all the wives, and such as are born of them, according to the counsel of my lord, and of those that tremble at the commandment of our God; and let it be done according to the law. So I would suggest that you both pray and seek God's will in all this, and then do what ever He tells you to do, even if it's going to be default.
1(Matthew 5:31-32) 2(Ezra 10:2-3)
That Was Part of the Law!
Now I now that there may be some that would protest and say that these things mentioned above was part of the law which we no longer follow. However, I would argue against that statement. Doesn't God's word say in Act 15 that there was four things that were part of the law which we are still to follow. For the Jerusalem counsel said: That ye abstain from meats offered to idols, and from blood, and from things strangled, and from fornication: from which if ye keep yourselves, ye shall do well. Fare ye well. (Acts 15:29) So, we read that one of those commandments in that list was "fornication" which would include a man marrying a divorced woman. Also as mentioned before, God calls it an abomination if a man receives his former wife back after she has been remarried. So, is this not also considered a fornication as well?
Don’t be Deceived
(1)“If we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel to you than what we have preached to you, let him be accursed. As we have said before, so now I say again, if anyone preaches any other gospel to you than what you have received, let him be accursed.” So that being said, you should not let any Pastor, Teacher, Preacher or even your best friend tell you that it’s okay to remarry after a divorce, for they would only be speaking heresy. And let’s not forget Paul’s warning to the church of Corinthians, for he said (2)“Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God?” And then he goes on to say “neither fornicators,” “nor adulterers” “shall inherit the kingdom of God.” And let’s take heed to what Jesus said as well: (3)"Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.” And let’s not be deceived, for (4)There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. Now, having said all that………
1(Galatians 1:8-9), 2(1 (Corinthians 6:9-11), 3(Matthew 7:21-23) 4(Proverbs 14:12)
God So Loved the World
(1)“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” And that is so true. So for all of you who are going through this mess, there is hope for you. That would include those of you who must get out of that adulterous relationship your in. For God will never let you have true peace as long as your in the arms of someone you don’t belong to. So, take the steps you need today to get yourselves back on the right path with God. He will see you through, no matter how deep you are in a relationship. (2)Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
1(1 John 1:9) 2(Isaiah 1:18)
Glorifying God through Prayer and Worship
Living a Life that Pleases Our God